Easter Egg Hunts, Ham, and a Very Special Easter Bunny

Photo credit: @Mikbuthcher

Like so many holidays after loss, I find myself reflecting and immersing myself in the memories of the past. Memories of the people I love and miss. Easter Sunday holds a lifetime of memories for me and especially as a kid. And as I sit in the solace of a quiet morning, nostalgia floods my brain and heart.

Easter egg hunts, ham and a very special Easter bunny who was delivered many years ago bring warmth and smiles as I miss my mom today.

I will never forget Easter Sunday 53 years ago. The year was 1972 and I was just 9 years old.

We went to church and back then, we were all dressed up in pretty dresses, shiny shoes, and adorable hats. Even as a little girl, I loved singing in church and sometimes sang with the adults in the choir. I loved the creak of the old wooden pews, the worn red hymnals, and watching the beautiful sunlight stream through the stained glass windows.

After church, our family would gather at my grandparents or aunts house. All of the kids were excited for the annual Easter egg hunt. I loved the smell of ham, deviled eggs, and indulging in a piece of my Grandma Eve’s homemade pie. Still to this day, I crave those things and as I reminisce of those magical days, my mouth is watering.

But April 2nd, 1972 was a different Easter for all of us. It was a day that came with an extra gift. A very special Easter bunny was delivered and as a young, nine year old girl, it was a gift that mattered more to me than an Easter egg hunt, pie, or ham.

My sister Lisa was born on Easter Sunday all those years ago. And it was a blessing to my parents, my brother, and our entire family. I was a kid but I remember waiting with anticipation not knowing what to expect. Would I be the big sister to another brother or would I have a sister to dress up and play with. Personally, I think my brother was hoping for a little boy to play in the dirt and mud with.

I remember trying to stay busy and distract myself, but I was worried about my mom and far too excited to meet this special Easter delivery and give my parents a hug.

Finally the anticipated phone call came. I had a new baby sister. It was the best Easter ever and while Easter falls on a different date each year, I will always think about Easter Sunday 53 years ago.

Today brings wonderful memories but like so many grievers around the world, Easter Sunday also brings a bit of sadness as I miss those who are no longer physically here. I miss some of the traditions that were such an important part of my past and while I try to recreate some of what made Easter so special for me as a kid, it’s not quite the same.

Honoring our loved ones on holidays is a special way to keep their memory and the legacy they left behind alive. To remember, look at pictures, say their names, tell stories, light a candle and make some of their favorite dishes can bring moments of joy and help you to stay connected to them long after they die.

Today we are having ham, scalloped potatoes, and deviled eggs and I can’t wait to fill our kitchen with family, laughter, and the smell of foods from my childhood. And I am blessed to be a “mimi” to three beautiful grandchildren and of course I found joy in filling their Easter baskets, and we will have an Easter egg hunt today.

My husband and I are going to church this morning and I hope to find moments of peace as I reflect further and feel the absence of those I will always miss and love. There will be no special bunnies delivered today but that memory is one that will always warm my heart and give me hope.

I know that there are far too many people in the world who are grieving and are spending today alone. There are those who are sick, disabled, or struggling with the weight of life and struggling to survive. Life is challenging for so many and my heart hurts for anyone who is struggling, hurting, and grieving today.

If at all possible, connect with someone who gets it and understands today. Even if it is a phone call or online. Community and connection can make such a big difference when grieving a difficult loss.

Please know I stand in solidarity with you and it’s my hope that even in the dark corners you might find yourself in today, you will find moments of light, peace and love.

I shared this today because I have found that even when I’m hurting and grieving, reflecting and tapping into my inner child can help me to absorb some of what hurts and bring smiles in the middle of the tears.

Sending extra love to you today and I’m here for you.

With love -

Michele